We are almost at the end of the first month of this new year. I wonder if the majority of people is still committed to the goals they have settled for themselves at the beginning of this year. Researcher John Norcross and his colleagues said that around 50% of people make New Year's resolutions. These findings have been published in The Journal of Clinical Psychology. Another research from University of Scranton has showed that only 8% complete and achieve their New Year’s goals. So 92% fail. The nmr 1 reason they say that they fail is not because they are lazy or don’t have the will.
It’s because they made unrealistic goals.
In our run, get rich quick, microwave, community, we often want things to happen easy, right now, without doing the hard work and remembering that everything in life is one step at a time. I have to admit that I, also, especially when I was younger had these expectations of myself. I want to create my own shows, I want to write, I want to be in acting, I want to encourage others, I want to have a successful business and all at one time. Forgetting the stages I have to go through in order to grow and to get where I want.
I remember how frustrated I could get, if things weren't working out the way I had planned. And even more frustrated when someone else younger than I flew me by. I felt like a car full of potentials waiting in the garage to be fixed. First my motor that needed to be educated with wisdom and knowledge than my windows in order to have a vision cause without a clear vision I had no idea where I was going or where I had to be. And then my doors so I could open up learning how to communicate effectively and invite the right people to co- ride and see the vision I had in front of me.
Waiting and taking it step by step and enjoying my steps is something I am still learning. I’m getting better at it, I'm also learning from the people around me.
So making unrealistic goals is the nmr 1 failure. When people fail they attend to forget about the whole plan and forget that every day is a new day to make new goals.
And there is something even more important that I found out while I was doing a lil bit of research about the main reason that people can’t keep their New Year Resolutions. This was a revelation for me :) Although the bible talks about it, so it has already been written for over 2000 years. It has to do with the renewing of our minds. Romans 12:2
It’s not a secret that if we want something we have to change our mindset.
This is what I found out:
The reason why the brain can’t handle New Year's resolutions
The key to holding on to achieve a goal is willpower. The braincel that opperates will power is located in the prefrontal cortex, this is the area right behind our forehead.
That particular area of the brain is also responsible for staying focused, the short term memory and solving abstract tasks.
When we set a New Year's resolution an enormous amount of willpower is required, this is an enormous amount that the brain can’t handle.
Scientifically: This is what happens inside the Prefrontal Cortex.
Stanford experiment by prof. Baba Shiv:
A group of undergraduate students were divided into 2 groups. One group was given a two-digit number to remember. The other was given a seven-digit number to remember. Then, after a short walk through the hall, they were offered the choice between two snacks: a slice of chocolate cake or a bowl of fruit. What’s most surprising: The students with 7-digit numbers to remember were twice as likely to pick the slice of chocolate compared to the students with the 2-digits.
The reason why this happends according to Prof: Baba Shiv.
“Those extra numbers took up valuable space in the brain—they were a “cognitive load”—making it that much harder to resist a decadent dessert.
That means that the Prefrontal Cortex that handles willpower is like a muscle, that needs to be trained. You have to make realistic goals so that the brain is prepared to handle the weight. One step at a time.
So what to do to achieve my New Year's resolutions?
Focus on one resolution, rather than several and set realistic, specific goals. For example: saying you want to lose weight is not specific. Say you want to lose 10 pounds in 90 days. Or I’m gonna walk for 30 minutes every day.
Like I said earlier. Every day is the beginning of a new day, a new chance to make resolutions. We don’t have to wait till the end of the year.
Take small steps. When you try to get there fast taking bigfoot steps, it can require too much effort and action all at the same time. You can get discouraged and tired. You become unmotivated and stop reaching towards your goal. So take small steps.
Hold yourself accountable or tell the people around you. It has proven that the people around you have a significant impact on your behavior. If you tell somebody about your plan and goal, chances are bigger you stick to your plan/goal.
Write it down. There is power in writing down your vision. After you have written it down, it’s not a vague thought anymore, but has now come to life. The bible talks about writing your vision down. Habakkuk 2:2.
And how many times haven’t you heard the people that achieved their goals made a moodboard or wrote their vision down. Ask or search and you will find out.
Surround yourself with like minded people that have done what you want to do or are going where you want to go. It motivates you to see that vision right in front of you. Knowing that it has already been achieved gives you the strength to continue and to hold on.
Reflect and be honest to yourself. Unpredictable changes can happen along the way. Don’t be afraid to change your strategy to achieve your goals.
Enjoy the ride and celebrate your small accomplishments. Don’t be obsessed with your destination. Because it’s not only about the destination, but the process is important to. It’s the process that creates the change. It’s the process that makes you stronger and gives you the life muscles you need in order to get from A to Z.
I’m enjoying my ride, although I have a lot of writing, reading and study homework right now. But I know this is the process I have to go through in order to create new shows, in order to bring my writing to another level. In order to encourage others and In order to have my own creative business. I know in order to achieve my goals I have to make sacrifices. But I don’t mind. I believe we all have a purpose in life and nobody is here, just to be here. That’s why I choose to be a woman with a vision on a mission. Yes, you alone are responsible to make that decision, you have to choose! God gives you the calling, but you have to answer the call.
For those who don’t know? My vision is to go around the world spreading creative words to inspire others. Especially young girls and ladies. To educate and motivate them to reach higher within themselves and inspire them to have a vision in life.
So last but not least: I am really curious about the goals you have made for this year. Drop a message and let me know? Maybe we can help each other by giving helpful tips or advice. Love to hear from you.
Be Blessed and Be a Blessing
NMJ
🎄Holiday season⛄️ reading season.
For a few days now I have been going to the bookstore 📖📕@ the Bijenkorf, to take a look at the bestelling book of 2018. Becoming. I have been listening to some 🎤🎬interviews from Michelle Obama and I was so impressed by how 💡intelligent but also how down to earth this 💁🏽♀️lady is. If there is something I don’t like, is people thinking they are better than everyone else just because they now have a title behind their name. This Woman spoke with so much wisdom about womanhood, 👨👩👧👦motherhood, education📕📖 identity, work and her life in the White House and life after the White House. If there is something I want and ❤️love to learn is how to become the best 💪🏾💁🏽♀️version of myself. That’s why I am eager to learn, to grow and to leave old and bad habbits ❌behind that don’t serve me. Her voice is the sound of a ordinairy Woman that had to work hard 💪🏾to become the person she is today and the Woman she is still becoming. Absolutely a ❤️must have.
🎄Holiday season⛄️ reading season. 
