I often wish I was smarter, wiser. That I had more creativity, so I could create more, do more, stand out more and achieve more? As hard as I try to stay positive in difficult times, I have my weaknesses. Im a poet and an actrice. But I haven’t gotten that Hollywood assignment yet, so can I call my self a professional artist? Even though I have my degrees and created my own theatre and poetry projects?
I dont like the name amateur, cause that would label me as if I’m not good enough in my craft. It’s hard to be a creative artist in the world today. In a world where only the best of the best of the best seem to be acknowledge and stand out. But what happends to the second or the the third best creative artists? Doesn’t every creature has his/her own uniqueness, something to share, something of value to add to this world. Or do they just dissapear into the storms of life? I really would like to hear more stories how other creative artists dealed with faillures and dissapointments in their lifes. Steve Jobs, Masterclass is a book I would recommend to everyone with a passion. The book doesn’t only share his story but lots of other encouraging stories of people who failed their way to succes. I always hear and read about succes stories but what about the seasons of life when all ods are against you? What do you do when life isn’t going the way you hoped, planned, or expected to go?
I continually ask my self questions about life? Who am I? What is my purpose in life? What defines me? I know my name. I know what I’m capable of. I know my dreams and desires. I know my strengths and my weaknesses. But yet still I often feel like I have absolutely know Idea where this rollercoaster called life is taking me as an artist? It frightens me, cause it comforts me to know where I’m going? You can consider me as a controll freak. Its my safety zone, knowing where im going? How im gonna get there? What tools do I need to get there and when will I get there?
These questions continually dance around my head. In the morning when I rise untill the moon closes my eyes. When I look back I see, I have been carrying these questions with me for ever. I always knew exactly what I wanted to be? What I was gonna study? Which schools to attend? How much money I was gonna need and when I was gonna get there? But it seems like life tries to teach me some VIP lessons. I cannot control everything, after prepairing and doing my part I have to trust and let go. I have to have faith, that the seeds I’ve planted along the way will come to pass. Even though I want to be able to controll it all! I don’t have the final say. Sometimes life catch you with unexpected suprises. You study social arts by the time you graduate the government cutt of all creative and non- profit organisations due to economic crisis. You plan to get married with the love of your life, then to find out he has been cheating on you. You worked all of your life and now it’s time to enjoy your retirement, you find out you are terminally ill. Or maybe you’re planning to have children and now you
can’t have none. We live in an unpredictable world. All of this influenced the way we think, the way we act and the way we live our lives. And sometimes we lose ourselfs in it, we forget to focus. I admit that in different seasons of my life I’m in a battle between the mind and the heart. My heart says love what you do? My mind says It’s not good enough. My heart says you never too old, my mind wants to make me believe that I should have allready achieved my goals. Im 34 and my biological clock is ticking, I have no partner my heart says yes and my mind says no.
I guess this is what the bible means about faith when it says “Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” It means having a vision, an idea, a project, something that cannot be seen or touch in the natural, but is allready reality in your spirit. ” As a person as well as a creative artist we cannot give up on that what is inside of us. Each and every one of us has been given a special seed and a vision in life to complete. You cannot have people, friends, family, society, the government anybody defining who you are, or who you are supposed to be. We as artists have to stay true to ourselfs. The journey of an artist isn’t always, I would say never easy. We get to deal with high and low mountains, big and small giants. But it is in these moments, in these storms after the labor, where artists will find themself, their own uniqueness and strength to give birth to a new piece of artwork.
Remember these lines when life’s rollercoaster tries to bring you down:
- Steve Jobs got fired from his own company in 1985 when he thought he lost everything he lived for, he gave birth to a new dream that would change the whole entertainment industry: Pixar was born.
- James Dyson, the inventor of the vacuums failed 5126 before he had accomplished his bilionaire idea.
- Chris Gardner multi miljonair/ The pursuit of happyness worked for unpaid internship and lived on the street for a year with his little son.
- Walt Disney was fired by a news paper editor because he lacked imagination and had no ideas. He went bankruptcy and failed before he found a recipe for succes that worked.
- Tyler Perry film/stageplay director and producer, produced his own stageplays for 7 years in a row for only 30 people. Family and friends. He now owns his own filmstudio, movies, sitcoms, books and stageplays that are seen all over the world and at Oprah Winfreys Network.
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